


Freedom In Love

by Pline



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Humor, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Maddie Buckley is a Good Sister, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-15 14:07:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28814628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pline/pseuds/Pline
Summary: “You can’t keep ignoring this,” Maddie says – again.She says it a lot. His answer is pretty much always the same.“Actually, I can. And I think I will. This is working great for me so far. It’s like Schrödinger’s confession, if I don’t say anything, Eddie can’t reject me.”
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Maddie Buckley, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 36
Kudos: 395





	Freedom In Love

**Author's Note:**

> The prompt was, "You can't keep ignoring this."

Buck is very fond of denial.

What a neat trick it is! He has a problem, then he won’t think about it until it either goes away on its own (it rarely does) or it comes back to bite him in the ass (it usually does).

Either way, denial is great.

Take for example his non-platonic, very romantic feelings for his best friend.

Buck could confess. He could also try to move on from this unrequited situation.

Instead of doing either of these things, he buries his head in the sand and pretends he has no problem breathing at all. No, he has no heavy weight sitting on his chest at all times, and maybe if he repeats if enough it will become true.

So what if he still overthinks every interaction he has with Eddie? That’s his business, no matter what his sister may think.

“You can’t keep ignoring this,” she says – again.

She says it a lot. His answer is pretty much always the same.

“Actually, I can. And I think I will. This is working great for me so far. It’s like Schrödinger’s confession, if I don’t say anything, Eddie can’t reject me.”

Maddie rolls her eyes with such force Buck expects them to fly out. Everyone tells him he is dramatic but if he is, it’s only because he grew up raised by one Maddie Buckley.

He is grateful for her being eight month pregnant, otherwise she would have already dragged him to Eddie and force him to confess.

Unaware that he is being bullied, the extended family of the 118 is talking and laughing excitedly in the other room. He longs to join them so that he can go back to ignoring his feelings.

“Don’t be daft,” she tells him. “Eddie loves you.”

“Yeah, he does – as a friend.” She goes to protest again but he presses on before she can. “Look, Maddie, I see what you’re trying to do and I know you worry about me but the truth is, I can’t risk this. Eddie and Christopher mean too much to me and I can’t risk losing them because of my big dumb messy feelings.”

Her face goes from annoyed to sad, almost pitiful.

“So, no. If Eddie feels the same way, he has to make the first move because I can’t.”

She sighs and for a moment, they bask in this tired silence.

Then, she says, “Your feelings aren’t dumb.”

Buck can’t help but snort at this and she smiles too though it’s shadowed by all that which they never mention.

They know that they did not grow up as children should, that their parents never showed them how to love and be loved and that both of them have searched for belonging and love in the wrong places.

Maybe, if they had been taught the definition of love, Buck would have had a braver heart.

Guilt rears its head at seeing his sister’s dimmed smile knowing that he is the cause of it, and so he hurries to change the subject – anything to make her laugh freely again.

Soon, he forgets about this discussion. It’s one he has had many times with Maddie, and with Hen too, and with Bobby, awkwardly too, that one time.

He knows people think Eddie might love him back the way Buck wants to, but, if so, why isn’t he doing anything about it?

Eddie isn’t the one with everything to lose.

* * *

It’s not until three days later that Buck is reminded of the conversation.

Eddie and him are painting Christopher’s room as a surprise for his birthday.

It was actually Buck’s idea but Eddie loved it and the two of them spent several hours deciding on a new color scheme for the room.

Well, in truth, the whole team got involved and it was of course Hen’s pick that got chosen, at Chim’s good-natured protest, which made Buck very happy because Chim refused to listen to Buck’s input about his nephew’s room.

“I need to tell you something,” Eddie blurts out, stilling mid-movement in his painting.

Buck almost tells him to finish it or it’ll leave a trace but the seriousness on his best friend’s stop him.

“Okay?” And no, Buck isn’t worried all of the sudden. At all. “What is it? Wait, are you okay? Is Chris okay?”

“Yes. We’re fine. I just – listen, I love you.”

Buck beams though his heart clenches in yearning – Eddie doesn’t mean it like that.

“Aw, I love you too, man.”

Eddie shakes his head. He steps down from the stool he was perched on. Absentmindedly, Buck mourns the trace that will be left on the wall. This is the third coat, they won’t have enough paint to do a fourth one.

Maybe they can put a picture to hide it later on?

“No, Buck,” Eddie protests. “I _love_ you. As in, I’m in love with you.”

Buck blinks.

And then, for good measure, he blinks once more but the scene is still the same – Eddie, earnest, looking at him with soft, imploring eyes.

“You’re – what?” Buck can’t process this.

Is he in a coma and no one has had the decency to tell him? Has he been gravely injured on the job and this is is mind’s conjured wishful scenario right before he dies?

“I’m in love with you, Buck,” Eddie repeats breathlessly. “I am. I’ve wanted to tell you for so long but I never could bring myself to.”

“What changed?” he asks almost despite himself.

He can’t believe this is truly happening. It all feels so much like a dream that he is half expecting to wake up any minute now in his bed with his heart crushed.

“I couldn’t keep ignoring this.”

Something stirs in Buck’s memory that he can’t quite place but he is too busy staring with adoration at the love of his life to focus on it.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Eddie replies with a soft smile. “It was all so easy to live in denial because, if I never told you, I was safe. Like Schrödinger’s confession.”

Buck stills. The memory comes back to him and it all clicks.

His conversation with Maddie at the 118’s monthly barbecue.

“You heard?”

Eddie shrugs, sheepish. “In my defense, you were speaking really loud and I was just in the other room.”

“I – I don’t know what to say.”

“Maybe say you love me too? Just so that I know you weren’t joking around with Maddie.”

That’s when it hits him. Eddie is as nervous as Buck has always felt when thinking about confessing. He looks like a man who is scared he is about to lose everything.

“I love you,” he cries out hurriedly. “Of course I love you but you – you? Like, you have feelings for me? Romantic ones?”

Eddie laughs with such relief that Buck can’t help but laugh too.

“How could I not fall in love with you, Evan Buckley? You’re everything.”

And when they kiss, Buck can finally breathe again.

Maybe denial isn’t all that he’s made it out to be.

Being free and in love has its perks too.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm always worried my attempts are humor will prove unfunny so please, tell me in the comments what you thought!
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
